We work all the time
Yet we do talk in-between
We discuss life....dreams......desires too
You tell me I am beautiful
I think you see me as you are !
Our conversations are so complete
Even when left in the middle of time.
I wish you everything good
I wish you happiness in every lifetime
I wish your simplicity shines brighter
I wish you regret nothing in life
May you have all you desire for
May you be happy in every lifetime !
Of all the things this beautiful life has....
I still believe in love.
I believe in the pure emotion that makes me cry....makes me happy.....makes me trust.....makes me a fool.......makes me take wrong decisions....makes me want to live and die.
I honestly dont know which phase of maturity....growing up am I in....that I have so many realisations......about my own self. But I think I will happily believe white lies if said with love....I wont regret the consequences. I dont mind people deceiving....I like that I don't repay them their kind of gifts.
The loss or gain of wealth seems pointless. Dressing up.....showing off a lavish lifestyle......seems absurd too.
What matters more are my comfortable wears .....healthy home-cooked meals........friends calling me just to know how am I............parents who still scold, teach, annoy and love me......siblings who would cross rivers and mountains for me without a second thought.....and love that is a synonym of honesty by my side. When he found me....I was broken ......yet he said I was beautiful......he still says the same.
Though I talk about temporary attachments and not expecting.....but my heart is a heart too and I fear if...even a single piece from my picture goes missing....how will I carry on.....
Whether I walk ahead and pretend I forget and forgive...I still have an empty spot - the past.
I try to be modest...humble and nice
But I still want to question people, fight and even play the blame game.
The younger me was ignorant.
Things...people....situations made me or broke me
Time did teach....time did heal....
Yet on days when I peep inside
I not just see the past...I empathise
I re-live it!
I think of the better outcomes,
Those situations, people and things
Had a role to play in my becoming !
But I dont thank them.
It was me who cured and cared for me!
I have lived!
I have grown!
I owe the younger me!
I love her for everything she was !
I put on a nice dress
And they like me more!
Can they not like me for who I am!
Or should I look in the mirror first?
And see clearly.....whether I like them for who they are!
Yesterday I said "nothing is fair"
Today, I peep inside to change the outer world.
I will not judge
I will not react
I will absorb
And come back to the bay
When the waters will settle
I will sail through!
May be I will discover ME
In the vast sea.....
Or an unknown land
That was waiting for me!
Then......
Will I still worry,
"If they like me more?"
Or will I like me more :) ??
I dont know what I was in my past life
It doesnt even matter what I was a day before
Today I gave my one hundred percent!
Today life was worth living!
I never calculate the riches or desire material wealth
I dream to LIVE day by day
It doesnt matter how the future unfolds
Today I was honest!
Today I ate well :)
Someone once said "I talk like I just read some books"
I took it as a compliment!
May I trust and love without reasons
It doesnt matter if there are no returns, no rewards
Today I have a family ❤️
Today I have friends who care!
*****
Thankyou God
I never thought I was fit for somethings...
But here I am
Your plans are the best!
The genuine parents my foundation.....siblings that laugh and cry together.....the outstanding man who loves me everyday....!
I cannot thank you enough God.
Over and above these I became a mother that I never ever imagined. It still feels like an unknown dream....I still am doubtful everyday but then I trust you....like they trust me.
My heart felt warm and safe
In her motherly embrace.
Memories filled my brain
Her love filled my eyes...
And did not stop there...
I wish you always stay !
It is heart breaking to imagine losing a loved one.
I know this bitter truth now
Time doesn't heal.
We just grow old....and learn to live with or without our loss.
Elders say -
"Being born in a specific family
In a specific environment,
Is all Gods plan!
He wants us to learn what we couldnt in our last life" and when a sould leaves, their purpose is fulfilled.
Isnt this carrying the past?
And then we talk about forgetting forgiving people in this life!
Can we not just live without burdening self
With man made theories!
Theories like the definition of being a good human being!
How to behave....when to do what....
Why not to live for self !
Why not to argue....fight....speak your heart....hurt people when it is needed!
Even though it doesnt really make sense.
And I talk about myself here...
I think
It wouldnt matter to me if I lose or win an argument,
I think the way I fight....or my reasons ending in a fight will make me sad even before the result.
The harsh things we speak.....the hurtful emotions that grow....can not be reversed!
It is like we cannot undo the consequences of a war.
Just like when Losing someone
I cannot regret that I would have spent more time....had been more nice.....or this or that....
I can just be there for them TODAY.
Make memories for tomorrow
Fill my heart with the love I share
Let it stay....let it be remembered
******
Some days when hope tells me
I am hopeless
I still hold it tight.
Like today when I couldnt fight
When I couldnt breadth
I felt the pain will not let me survive...
I still did.
Isnt that the biggest hope....that I am alive!
With or without heart
Inside or outside my head..
Before....and after....and years later....I am still living!
In a world full of lives
In a home full of love
I seek myself.
Even though I am a mother...
I still keep safe the little girl I once was.
I love her imagination.....her creativity
I adore how easily she cherishes goodness in people
I am grateful to her for being so positive
She helps me find joy in the dark hours..
She overlooks when my plans fail,
I looked for friends outside...only to find her...holding on to me..each and every time.
I always say my family....my siblings....my parents are my greatest gifts....
But I think my character that I am building.....the life lessons I am trying to practise...are my assets. They help me clear the unwanted stressful thoughts....and be a kind...and a giving person that I always aimed to be..... with a heart filled with gratitude.
Thankful for having a healthy body....
Thankful to get up each morning and be able to work
Thankful that the world is full of people with good intentions
Thankful because each night...like today....I can pray and sleep with hope.
Thankyou God
Just like when I was 18,
I still have boundaries.
I do not think beyond..
But today I was Honest
not blunt nor modest.
I admitted - I have found a happy place
Without a second thought, I said I do!
This place is warm and welcoming,
Nor young nor old...perfect to stay...!
There are real walls yet there is freedom to dream,
There are rooms for all my moods,
Perfect backdrops.....balloons.....flowers
smiles and togetherness that fills the space!
There are discussions....debates....
Not always do we agree or smile....
Yet we share, we care.....
Hear and see but never judge or decide!
This place is another home, far from mine
A place I always look up to for wisdom, day and night.
It nutures memories, reflects pure joy
Makes me believe in me.....white is white and it cannot shouldnt be denied.
I never expect....
Yet I expect this place stay the way it is.....
Beautiful inside out..surprisingly simple
And easy to be found.
~~~~~~~~~
You are My Light in Day. You are My Moon in Night.
You Knit Blue Clouds with a Heart Alright.
With a Halo of Hope, Compassion Drips
You talk like Bonfire with a Mole Under Your Lips
Big Eyes like the Queen, the Kind that Knows
On a Tail of the Comet When Your Face Glows
Something About her, I Heard Her Say
Even the Gods can’t take her Thunder Away
May You never Stand Alone Between Hot and Cold
Between Love & Desire, The Roots You Hold
You are a Home Within Home, Hearth you Tend
Your Poems, Your Musings, Your Stories Never End
Somedays You Learn from Me and Somedays You Teach
Someday I Wish, I will See Violet Sunsets with you on a Beach
And of all the known Colours, you are my Blue.
And of all the Lives I will I have, I will Always Choose You.