Lets just live everyday.

Let me cry for this one time...

For the things I left behind.

Even though....Life is beautiful....more beautiful than I could have thought...

Even though this was not ....never my plan.

Even though I could have never been this blessed...!

Even though I grew out of the chaos that I never addressed!

Not always...did I have someone beside.....

There were days when darkness surpassed light,

Somedays when I managed to survive,

And some when I questioned the purpose of a human LIFE! 

I still don't have the answers...

but now I don't look for them....

NOW....I just live!

I live in the moment...as if

That is all I will ever have...!

SO !

To every person, I ever knew,

I wish you stay happy, healthy in this life.

May you realise 

Life is too short to judge and weigh!

Lets just live and let others live their way!

May we just stay humble and kind

May we always pray to God....

To have strength when we are faced with hard times!

And of all of this ....May we not blame the good or the bad....

May we be human.......because only humans can forgive, can understand! 

You make my world!

Looks like it took a while

But because I have had you all..... all this time

Even if things don't end up beautiful and nice

I will be content to just have you in this life❣️

My siblings were already in his written plans....but Shreyans! You were his surprise element....🐣😁

My busy friend

I know we are adults, now

I know back then we were kids

But I didnt know..

Before sleeping on my worst of days.....

When I will count my blessings....

I will always count you ! My friend! 

I never wish to go back in time....

But our times together makes me nostalgic!

I remember everything so clearly

As if it was yesterday we met.

Became friends and had those

Talks and walks :)

I wish I really could pen down 

Every moment of happiness 

And moments of despair too

Thinking of this, I realise

The times are worth remembering 

Because I had you to back me up!

True! THAT time has become a beautiful memory now...

But I am still here and so are you!

Lets be friends !

We are on this earth for a very small time

Lets atleast try :) 

Like water....I flow

 When I was 18

I always wanted to foresee

What will I end up being !

Today I am 35

And like 18, I wish to forsee

What will I be at 50 ;) 

I never wish to go back

Change things in the past

Because every thing I did,

Was what I felt - was the right thing to do

At that time!

If I were to define my journey 

I would call myself a river

That went with the flow!

I have never stopped!

Even when faced with criticism 

When I felt unwanted

When I felt aimless

When I fell and gave up

gave up my most cherished things in hand.....

I never gave up on myself !

And looks like 

The writer of my story...

Levels me up....when ever I tried :) 

And I tried my best!

- my sister says this has come to me from my father - the character of not giving up....and giving the best shot when hardest hit :)

Do not hesitate

 

I do share texts, quotes 

With friends and family

But I never advice people.

Yet if some day....

If I really have to give some advice...

I would ask people to NOT HESITATE!

I will tell....them.....

You and I are here for a very small time,

Wouldn't it be better to share our ups and downs

Talk more.....

Learn from each other's experiences 

May be the way you feel

Is exactly how I feel too! 

May be you have cloudy days 

But I am all drenched in rain!

May be people around us 

Are...waiting for us to open up:) 

And we fear they will judge or 

pity us!

May be they are waiting for someone 

To show courage too! 

May be they are waiting for someone 

To show up.....just like me and you! 

Mother - a special being

 My mother says,

"Spend the first day of NEW year, 

As you want your whole year to be"

I spent this 1st of January

Lying on the bed

All sick and tired !

"Does this mean the whole year 

I will be sick ?" I asked her

To which she replied,

"No! This means now you should eat healthy, do some yoga and take care of yourself!"

***

I too am a mother of two

I know how many stories I make each day

For them....I am like a god!

They believe me and love me

Even when I don't trust myself!

Did God really sculpted MOTHERS..

With unconditional emotions!

Strength that no one can match,

Care that none can reciprocate 

And love that flows without expectations!

***

If a mother would start journaling 

No one would believe...

The countless emotional tides,

she experiences every day.

Yet she is there each day 

to not just survive 

But to live, laugh and love!

Life is so precious!

 

I wish to hold water
I feel sad....that I just can't
Nobody can.

I feel sad when people leave
I know that's life......!
But if they were born to fill up a space...
When they leave there is a void,
There are words unsaid....
Deeds undone....
And meetings unplanned.

I just remember
So many people I recently lost
Some I tried to connect to
Some who were sick and old
And some who left too early !

I believe everyone has a purpose
We strive and struggle towards it
But then why are we born in a family,
Have friends, build relationships
And nuture them !
When we don't even know
What the next day holds for us!
Why do we have a heart that has a brain
And eyes that witness memories!

***
Lord, I always wish health and togetherness
But today I wish for more.
I wish every person in this BIG WORLD
May LIVE in the present!
Not mourn about the past
Or worry about the future.
They just live❣️

My Ripple stitch

Can love be little?

Or should I say.....

Is it necessary for love to have a life?

Can't it be just a moment 

When I had that little butterfly!

It's like a memory when I won something special....

That I would like to cherish !

Because I know it cannot be lived everyday :)

***

You know what is the easiest...

To speak my heart!

And the most difficult....

I don't know yet.

May be I haven't faced something I can call difficult yet.

I can read you !

If there will be some day

A day when I will have no more words to write!

How will we talk ?

Will you stop.....and read my eyes:) 

You know I will love you....Always!

 

My hair are getting thinner

May turn grey too,

I won't have the perfect body 

Might smile with wrinkles soon!

Will that change the way you see me?

Will these changes matter to you?

***

"Love is blind" I have read that many times

Today I realise it does hold TRUE.

love is not seeing....it is feeling!

I do remember your sunkissed face when we were 25 and you held my hand ...

But more I remember your warmth...your touch brought!

That feeling has become indispensable now.

We are aging ! Better-half!

Wasn't that what we wanted?

We wanted to grow old together ❤️ 

To make a happy home.....

have kids...a girl and a boy :) ....and

Witness each other mature :) 

***

I hope....

In the coming years we grow more kind...

We make people around experience simplicity of being happy...

May we always be givers....and 

May we always do the best we can !

Jab jeet..haar ho

 

इतनी दुविधाओ के बीच

अंतर्मन की चिंताओ के बीच 

खुद को संभालती हूं 

खुद को समेटती हूँ

फिर भी सिमटी सी मैं 

सबको अधूरी सी लगती हूँ .

हर परीक्षा में खरी उतर के भी 

असफल ही दिखती हूं

I can be.... if i try to be !

 I always felt what I have,

Is enough....It always felt fine.

Yet today.....I want more!

I want to be, what I know I can be!

Even if I always had enough to spend,

Time, money, even efforts....

Yet today.....I want more than enough!

I want to be, what I could have been!

I do not want to give up

Pick excuses or forget today,

I want to shine not survive

I want to be really ME for the rest of this life!

I might forget, go back 

to being satisfied and silly

So I write here, to remember clear

There is nothing ! That I can't be!

 

They are not my roots

But they have kept my memories safe!

They long for my care,

Remember my talks...

And miss me when I am not around.

.

I wish you everything good Nana, Nani ❣️

Because of you, I get to experience what grandparents really are🙏🏼

35 makes me feel OLD :(

 

Now everyday when I wake up

I feel I have a brand new life!

Has the number 35,

 trained my brain to make me feel old?

Or my fears to reach this age...

Have made me cherish everyday?

I do not know

What I know is.....

I thank the young girl I once was,

For everything she did :)

All the ups and downs she rode

To reach "MY PRESENT SELF"

I remember all her gloomy days 

When she gave up dreams she watered so well,

I remember her pure efforts,

That were not rewarding....but were right and made someone's days bright

:)

And here's my word

I give you today,

That our future self too

Will be giving and kind.

Hang in there!

 I want to be your best friend...

May not accompany you everyday
But I will wish the best for you
And hope that you live happy everyday!

You know, you need not be fair or strong
Or cool or smart or try to fit in somewhere...
You are wonderful as you are
And those who love you...
Will love you anyway!

I know what you went through,
Or how serious was your loss,
People say time can help you face things...
And you can...will be better when ever you try to re-start!

Every human faces things....
Some good, some very ugly too,
May be a little wait can tell you
What God really planned for you!

If there is no one to hold your hand
to comfort, hug and say it will be fine
Then my dearest friend,

gather all your puzzled pieces...yourself!
Don't wait for someone to help or encourage,

I believe in you!

Just give your best!

Does a spiral means a Yes?

 He took my hand...

Why didn't he ask!
We crossed the road...
he then turned
Looked at me
And said "it feels nice"!

I was not so shy
But in that moment, I froze!
I remember only two things...
the sound of my heart, and
The touch of his cold fingers...

He then opened my palm...
Before I could ask
He drew a spiral,
And started to walk towards my home.
....I would have drawn a heart if I were him....what does a spiral mean? I never asked ;)
Wait,
He was walking me home!
He was happy!that's fine...
He was even singing!

And ! He still held my hand!

I had to stop him
I told him I am an adult

And I could see.. people noticing...

To which he smiled...
Said - " I know, but I want you to feel nice
For some more time!
Let me walk you home...
Like I will...for the rest of our lives!"

I couldn't say no....

I did feel nice :)

With my warm finger

I drew a spiral too.

Since then, those 5 mins 

Turned into our golden walk.

**
After a decade,

 being in the same home,
I have to remind him-
I am an adult...
Because he still drops me....
Arranges my travels,
Messages me ten thousand times...and,
Acts as my manager !

Song time

This has been my favourite since I was little. 

 

#4 How we met!

The phone beeped 

It was his text

He wrote - " I like you"

And he added - that's all I always meant!

What should I have felt?

Happy? Excited?

I just felt numb. 

I did admit then, 

he was the perfect person

Someone with whom I was me...

He was nice...really nice 

Taking care of every single thing.

I must have been in a shell

Thus, I never thought beyond....

Maybe I gave up hope and was fine with anything that would come my way...

yet this person entered without asking!

 He was right there....coming my way

Making me afraid of coming too close !

I really felt something

Maybe...

An emotion...I didn't understand

Will it hurt? Will it make me sad? Will things turn right? I had no idea.....

I don't know what made me trust him and I wanted to take a step forward !

Without hesitation...

I called....said let's meet

And the next day...

We Met !

Live in the moment

 I chased some memories today

checked on some people from the past too
I can't really think of a good reason why I did so..
Have I become too modest!
Or it doesn't cost to be nice!

I think because even if I am very patient
I can't really wait!
Wait to rectify....wait to speak my heart
And wait to regret in the future.

About me

 I don't remember since when did I start being like this....

When tired..... bored....or dead sick....
I still behave as a fighter
I don't give up.

Even when everything around is a mess...
I turn emotionless and just start over :)
I actually do that
Somedays I really wish to be angry...and mourn and behave like a kid....but that's too tiring to even think...forget about behaving like that...


I don't remember a single thing that I gave up recently....
Yes there were things I chose to not persue....things where I made a mature choice of letting go.....or may be situations where I acted too practical unlike the younger me......!

But today if someone will ask me
Do I regret anything.....when I look back!
The answer will be NOTHING
I am thankful to the simple me
For being optimist....
And for trusting God's plans.

God story of you is surely way too beautiful than your plans.