I keep going - with or without

My heart felt warm and safe

In her motherly embrace.

Memories filled my brain

Her love filled my eyes...

And did not stop there...

I wish you always stay !

It is heart breaking to imagine losing a loved one. 

I know this bitter truth now

Time doesn't heal.

We just grow old....and learn to live with or without our loss.

Elders say -

"Being born in a specific family

In a specific environment,

Is all Gods plan! 

He wants us to learn what we couldnt in our last life" and when a sould leaves, their purpose is fulfilled.

Isnt this carrying the past?

And then we talk about forgetting forgiving people in this life!

Can we not just live without burdening self 

With man made theories!

Theories like the definition of being a good human being!

How to behave....when to do what....

Why not to live for self !

Why not to argue....fight....speak your heart....hurt people when it is needed!

Even though it doesnt really make sense.

And I talk about myself here...

I think 

It wouldnt matter to me if I lose or win an argument,

I think the way I fight....or my reasons ending in a fight will make me sad even before the result.

The harsh things we speak.....the hurtful emotions that grow....can not be reversed!

It is like we cannot undo the consequences of a war.

Just like when Losing someone 

I cannot regret that I would have spent more time....had been more nice.....or this or that....

I can just be there for them TODAY.

Make memories for tomorrow

Fill my heart with the love I share

Let it stay....let it be remembered 

******

Dear Hope, stay close

Some days when hope tells me

I am hopeless

I still hold it tight.

Like today when I couldnt fight

When I couldnt breadth 

I felt the pain will not let me survive...

I still did. 

Isnt that the biggest hope....that I am alive!

With or without heart

Inside or outside my head..

Before....and after....and years later....I am still living! 

I hide...me

 In a world full of lives

In a home full of love

I seek myself.

Even though I am a mother...

I still keep safe the little girl I once was.

I love her imagination.....her creativity

I adore how easily she cherishes goodness in people

I am grateful to her for being so positive

She helps me find joy in the dark hours..

She overlooks when my plans fail,

I looked for friends outside...only to find her...holding on to me..each and every time.

I always say my family....my siblings....my parents are my greatest gifts....

But I think my character that I am building.....the life lessons I am trying to practise...are my assets. They help me clear the unwanted stressful thoughts....and be a kind...and a giving person that I always aimed to be..... with a heart filled with gratitude.

Thankful for having a healthy body....

Thankful to get up each morning and be able to work

Thankful that the world is full of people with good intentions

Thankful because each night...like today....I can pray and sleep with hope.

Thankyou God

Sailing

Just like when I was 18, 

I still have boundaries.

I do not think beyond..

But today I was Honest 

not blunt nor modest.

I admitted - I have found a happy place

Without a second thought, I said I do! 

This place is warm and welcoming,

Nor young nor old...perfect to stay...!

There are real walls yet there is freedom to dream,

There are rooms for all my moods,

Perfect backdrops.....balloons.....flowers

smiles and togetherness that fills the space!

There are discussions....debates....

Not always do we agree or smile....

Yet we share, we care.....

Hear and see but never judge or decide!

This place is another home, far from mine

A place I always look up to for wisdom, day and night.

It nutures memories, reflects pure joy

Makes me believe in me.....white is white and it cannot shouldnt be denied.

I never expect....

Yet I expect this place stay the way it is.....

Beautiful inside out..surprisingly simple 

And easy to be found.

~~~~~~~~~

Distance

I know silence could speak louder than words...yet I ain't someone who waits for things to settle like this...

But for you I will..I can

I can stay where I am !

Care does not always need a show...do you know?

The few wishes I wish

I wish to never plead for love

I wish to never expect 

I wish to be ordinary unnoticed and unheard

I wish to be just me.....and just to me❣️

I will always try

Nor friends...

Nor relatives were we

Should I call them acquaintance!

They do not fit that too.

Looks like my soul quest 

shouldn't have anything to do with them.

Dear, ignorant me!

Learn to NOT turn the pages of time....

See what you are NOT "SUPPOSED" to be,

Instead...

Be your greatest strength,

Survive the tests of time,

May you end up with nothing in the end

Yet be kind! 

May you be embarrassed 

May you be called naive

But does that really matter?

Then what does really matter...?

What matters is ....that I Tried!

I hear it speak - my inner voice

What is Right?

What is wrong?

Can all be altered in the shadow of ones perspective.

Something is good or bad?

Can be defined at ones convinient situation too!

And may many years pass by

If the little voice inside you will still be alive

You would hear its shout clearly 

Of the incidents where you couldnt justify your conduct!

You know what I found today

Inside me ???

My little voice has nothing to say!

I really can have a sound sleep.

Does this mean I did not default!

I did and I did learn my lessons too.

I recall I was very materialistic when I was little ....even a colourful stationary lured me. Then I found a broken pencil can write the best letters.....and the best paintbrush need not be branded.

I have acted partial....for my friends...

Then I realised there is no right and wrong but.....situations make it so and everyone should get to learn their lessons.

I have gone with the flow....in the workplace

And neglected people......under the pressure to perform. Then I stumbled and understood a leader should help lift others creating a healthy environment. Professionalism shouldn't make me forget the real me.....a kind hearted person I always wished to be. 

I have shattered dreams, the beautiful ones I saw. Friends blamed me for being too practical and not chasing them. I wish they knew.....I had forgotten myself in this journey, yet I did try my best only to land being a good for nobody. How could I suppress the little voice that taught me to love myself !

I heard every time it spoke to me and with time I realised it taught me what I really wanted!

It taught me - I have always had a genuine heart.

I have never hurt people for some gain.

I have lied to save myself but never to shift the blame on others

I have faced people and had been honest! 

I never felt the need to hide my face, to avoid situations. If I wanted to do something, I very well did do that. And those that I didnt intend to, I clearly spoke that I won't.

And so 

I HOLD NOTHING!

theres is nothing that bothers

There is no peak that I cannot climb

And no trouble that I cannot handle.

There are no masks I wear

And no lies to gaurd.

I will always choose to like you !

 To the man, I cherish everyday 

(just like my siblings❣️)

If I look back at how I fell for him

I realise I never had to. 

he behaved like a husband since day one !

He almost owned me!

He read every page of my life as if it was his !

He made plans without asking if I was in!

He always dashed in my comfort zone and behaved like it was his territory!

Above all this.... he kept me near like a little pet and proudly showed off that he was responsible for all my things!

When I said "life is big" we should take time to know each other! He would repeat everything I knew ....twice, thrice...a hundred times!

My heart did not long for someone special..I had given up thinking what that feels like!

but this person was different....he was worry free.....without hesitation....not ready with solutions or judgements....but listening ears and eyes, I felt could read me.

The things I would have been so thoughtful before doing or would have planned or prepared myself for...he simply excecuted! 

Seeing my heart race.... he would stop pacing...would hold my hand, hold me as if he had been doing that since decades and calm me! He did not care....the train leaving ....missing flights.....losing money.....I still remember I was always the worry worm...and he Mr. Manager with the tagline "sab ho jayega".

At first the feeling felt very very strange......

Gradually I discovered....

I badly needed HIM⚘️ 

I needed someone who would let me be...!

Even today he has his likes and dislikes....sugegstions.....words of advice...but he let his wife be.

He let me be 

***

I owe you, for being an intruder!

For making me....to like you,

For showing up...managing....and staying even when I didn't ask....did not desire.....was unsure.

For helping me realise, there is no perfect definition of love or finding a partner!

But there are emotions that root love....help it grow and bloom with time !

Age might not make me wise....but can turn my hair grey ;)

 For tomorrow I will grow a little old,

For tomorrow I will have a new goal!

For tomorrow, I wish be just another day

May tomorrow come and go just like yesterday

May my normal always stay 🙏🏼 

May age make me wise

May I live an honest life

May I treat everyone right

May everyperson I know feels blessed and thankful to get to live this life!

****

I realise the ordinary is very difficult to achieve. Yet we keep aiming for the extraordinary and forget to cherish what we have - the ordinary. 

May it be our ordinary health, the ordinary everyday with people around....the ordinary everyday work which we complete with ease! Or the ordinary selfless love that surrounds us in various forms ! I wish everyday be an ORDINARY day ❣️

Poured

 I realise...

I never liked the calm,

I always liked the chaos.

I wanted to swim in the waves...

May be to test....Can I!

I always talked to troubles..

May be to convince......I really can!

Does this make me look...trying to look strong..?

....fragile....delicate....even vulnerable!

Just because......

I gave up....willingly....

And now I try to fight!

****

I choose to fight with self...

 not to fight....with others...or for them

Want to know why...

Because I had let people decide how to treat me...and I realised my life....

My life....isn't just to please one....someone...or anyone!

They were not selfish .....I might call them self centered though...

But they had their plan...

And I was not a part of it you see.

So.....I learnt my lesson..

Did not become too practical...

I can chase even when hurt.....with all might....

But I never fool myself.....or my gut feeling

...if my little fist sized heart says....do not...

I JUST DON'T !

then may I suffer a loss.....

May I lose wealth......May people leave me....May the world tells me I am wrong...

I turn insensitive.....deaf and blind too

Does this make me look strong ?? ;)

I dont know...yet....

All I know is...I keep going....

I keep walking....

I reach destinations...and make new plans.

I never stop....or wait ....or turn back...

All I want is to survive storms...

Untangle life ....face my fears...

And....

Live with no regrets !

We never lose.....anything !

 I have been searching it for two days....

Didnt find it in love.....or friends....or family.
I found it in a moment I call my own.

I just found the feeling that was lost....
A feeling that could help me overcome disasters
A feeling that can help me sail through
A feeling that helps me to keep going....forward....
To keep putting efforts...
To not look at the returns....
To just live.....exactly as I want to:)
Happiness...they say is a choice...
I believe it is the positive side....of every situation .....every person .....every game.
Does it really matters....the winning or losing!
I suppose what will matter is how much I put in! How tough.....I became! And how boldly I made myself face the fight.......

I don't know How someone who made life judges our purpose here....and calls us back....
How every human learns ....being so different......so unique....
Some just keep blooming.....some who keep hating.....some who just dont have the time to live....they keep busy. Looks like I am too idle....to notice them all.
Or may be because I was on the lookout for my precious feeling that I lost....that I tried to find in each of them.....
Yet
Found it in me. 

My heart grew bigger !

 You think I healed?

Good. If you believed!

I had a storm inside....that took alot of time...

The dreamer in me went missing since then...

It never settled...or was it waiting.......

For the thunder..or the rain.

I felt awkward....not in line...

When ever I took a step forward....

I was thrown back twice.

It wasn't working....

Untill the day.....rain took everything away!

What was hidden deep inside...

I witnessed it being washed away.

I cried like I lost myself....

For something that never meant.

Something precious that only I dreamt.....was broken.

And not every broken thing, can be repaired....I found.

That's when I realised

I could hear emptiness...speak...

Of how foolish I was!

To water a weed! 

You know how I felt then?

Instead of being in that state of sad....

I felt happy from inside!

Because I had done what I did!

And I had done everything right!

Not for once was I pretentious 

Or tried to hide.

Nor was I tired of trying!

Thats what helped me look through...

I realised I can never be healed...

Through the pain....or the loss...

I realised I can never escape some things...

there is no need to show a bold face!

I was waiting outside a closed door afterall

"Not Welcome" was the only sign it bore...

So I gathered all the courage,

To leave ...and never return...

And that was the time...when I realised...

Just like the brain grows with practice...

So does the heart after loss and gains!

My heart grew bigger! 

It learnt to let go...to give up....

It learnt to live with pain, suffer and 

It learnt to .....re start ! Reset ! Relive!

We watched the moon together ♡

 Just like everyday,

He walked me home.....

Though it was cloudy..but it was our thing to watch the moon together!

So we looked for the moon...

It took longer than everyday.

Standing on the side of the busy road..

he drew me close, stood behind 

His head rested on my shoulders....

His hands slid from my fingers....to my elbows,

I could hear his heart beat loud and clear....

He lifted his face...

Said, "I found the moon....what about you?"

The clouds never gave way to the moon

I said, "not yet." Asked , "Where is it?"

He turned me towards him ....

And smiled his naughty smile! 

He always came up with such things

And I always found them funny.

Before he could speak anything...

I pulled him to go home.

Yet this person who doesn't listen to me when he should....

Pulled me back,

Kissed me on the forehead,

And said, "Everyday when you look at the moon, I look at you."

That was true. 

He always looked at me....I had never asked him to look away :)

I still don't. 

Thats our moment and we need no words...

Thats how we have been ignoring the moon everyday :) 

Let her be

Somedays I feel 

Women are enough !

Somedays I wish 

There were no men !

No prejudice....no comparisons

No biasness.....no judgements....

Or may be I wish....Men were not trained as 

The MAN - The KARTA from birth!

They could choose to not be responsible,

They could cry before people too....

They could feel .......show emotions....

They could.....IF they wouldn't have been trained....as

The MAN from birth!

Or may be if I was born in some place where 

Women are not "allowed" by men!

The Woman decides.....to stay or leave!

Her BRAIN could really function well!

Without minding the brains....of her father...brother...husband...or son!

And where she actually lives.....!

Lives a life......where she is giving !

Where is loving......where she is simple...

And where she is just herself!

Without the fear of validations !

Rejuvenate

 I believe that home is where my people are....but right this moment....

When I am in the 2bhk where I have spent my childhood....Every lifeless thing......is speaking volumes!

.

The dining where we had flavourful family meals....reminds me of the heartfelt laughters.........

The big mirror of my small room...reflects the little girl dressing up for her best days and adjusting the only accessory I wore then....my specs :)

The little cupboards that made my study...... I stored my clothes in.....look like I came out of some toy world.....yet I arranged them every now and then ! 

The living room....sofas .....still have that velvet cloth on which I made designs with my finger......

The long balcony.....still is like a mini garden....with beautiful birds singing for me!.....I used to keep standing there....to get a glimpse of them.....

Papa's rotating office chair was my artistic corner! That is the place I discovered I can draw;)

And above all these ...

Above all these material things.....

I remember this living thing I loved more than my younger brother ♡ I and Manisha didi brought him home without our parents permission...and papa said since he is here....let him stay and Harry was home :) 

.

.

I don't know what happiness is. But I know I am thankful to have this moment when I cherish things around! When I tell the younger me....that Life is worth living! Leaving the nest! Coming back ! And living more and more ! 

And living doesn't mean....finding joy! Living means experiencing all that comes your way.....laughter...tears.....pain .....or struggle! After all everyone has a different story to write with a very different way of holding the pen and writing !

They help me be me!

I finally understand the depth of these words. 

I have friends from different walks of life! And each one is so amazing ! I cannot  compare! I cannot even try!

When ever I talk to them 

I meet the coolest version of me

    Who believed in being nice

    Not to a person....or for a day

    But to everyone in this lifetime.

    

SHANKS thanks ;)

In the marathon called life

I met so many passers by,

Yet when he ran with me, 

I realised I preferred walking this time.

I wished time may go slow

I wished this feeling may grow

Of being loved and being with him

Looks like life unfolded me to him!

He doesn't make my things simple

He never compromises

He doesn't buy my yes or no

He says if it is about me....things can't be just so-so !

He waits...he stays.....

May it be dawn or midnight...

If it is about me,

He makes sure everything is perfect..is right.

Somedays he says ....he should have been a better HE ...that too for me.

but then I tell him...then he wouldn't have looked for me :)

I am happy he was bold...

I am happy he was more than nice

I am happy he took all the efforts

To make me call him "mine"♡

Lets just live everyday.

Let me cry for this one time...

For the things I left behind.

Even though....Life is beautiful....more beautiful than I could have thought...

Even though this was not ....never my plan.

Even though I could have never been this blessed...!

Even though I grew out of the chaos that I never addressed!

Not always...did I have someone beside.....

There were days when darkness surpassed light,

Somedays when I managed to survive,

And some when I questioned the purpose of a human LIFE! 

I still don't have the answers...

but now I don't look for them....

NOW....I just live!

I live in the moment...as if

That is all I will ever have...!

SO !

To every person, I ever knew,

I wish you stay happy, healthy in this life.

May you realise 

Life is too short to judge and weigh!

Lets just live and let others live their way!

May we just stay humble and kind

May we always pray to God....

To have strength when we are faced with hard times!

And of all of this ....May we not blame the good or the bad....

May we be human.......because only humans can forgive, can understand! 

You make my world!

Looks like it took a while

But because I have had you all..... all this time

Even if things don't end up beautiful and nice

I will be content to just have you in this life❣️

My siblings were already in his written plans....but Shreyans! You were his surprise element....🐣😁

My busy friend

I know we are adults, now

I know back then we were kids

But I didnt know..

Before sleeping on my worst of days.....

When I will count my blessings....

I will always count you ! My friend! 

I never wish to go back in time....

But our times together makes me nostalgic!

I remember everything so clearly

As if it was yesterday we met.

Became friends and had those

Talks and walks :)

I wish I really could pen down 

Every moment of happiness 

And moments of despair too

Thinking of this, I realise

The times are worth remembering 

Because I had you to back me up!

True! THAT time has become a beautiful memory now...

But I am still here and so are you!

Lets be friends !

We are on this earth for a very small time

Lets atleast try :) 

Like water....I flow

 When I was 18

I always wanted to foresee

What will I end up being !

Today I am 35

And like 18, I wish to forsee

What will I be at 50 ;) 

I never wish to go back

Change things in the past

Because every thing I did,

Was what I felt - was the right thing to do

At that time!

If I were to define my journey 

I would call myself a river

That went with the flow!

I have never stopped!

Even when faced with criticism 

When I felt unwanted

When I felt aimless

When I fell and gave up

gave up my most cherished things in hand.....

I never gave up on myself !

And looks like 

The writer of my story...

Levels me up....when ever I tried :) 

And I tried my best!

- my sister says this has come to me from my father - the character of not giving up....and giving the best shot when hardest hit :)

Do not hesitate

 

I do share texts, quotes 

With friends and family

But I never advice people.

Yet if some day....

If I really have to give some advice...

I would ask people to NOT HESITATE!

I will tell....them.....

You and I are here for a very small time,

Wouldn't it be better to share our ups and downs

Talk more.....

Learn from each other's experiences 

May be the way you feel

Is exactly how I feel too! 

May be you have cloudy days 

But I am all drenched in rain!

May be people around us 

Are...waiting for us to open up:) 

And we fear they will judge or 

pity us!

May be they are waiting for someone 

To show courage too! 

May be they are waiting for someone 

To show up.....just like me and you! 

Mother - a special being

 My mother says,

"Spend the first day of NEW year, 

As you want your whole year to be"

I spent this 1st of January

Lying on the bed

All sick and tired !

"Does this mean the whole year 

I will be sick ?" I asked her

To which she replied,

"No! This means now you should eat healthy, do some yoga and take care of yourself!"

***

I too am a mother of two

I know how many stories I make each day

For them....I am like a god!

They believe me and love me

Even when I don't trust myself!

Did God really sculpted MOTHERS..

With unconditional emotions!

Strength that no one can match,

Care that none can reciprocate 

And love that flows without expectations!

***

If a mother would start journaling 

No one would believe...

The countless emotional tides,

she experiences every day.

Yet she is there each day 

to not just survive 

But to live, laugh and love!

Life is so precious!

 

I wish to hold water
I feel sad....that I just can't
Nobody can.

I feel sad when people leave
I know that's life......!
But if they were born to fill up a space...
When they leave there is a void,
There are words unsaid....
Deeds undone....
And meetings unplanned.

I just remember
So many people I recently lost
Some I tried to connect to
Some who were sick and old
And some who left too early !

I believe everyone has a purpose
We strive and struggle towards it
But then why are we born in a family,
Have friends, build relationships
And nuture them !
When we don't even know
What the next day holds for us!
Why do we have a heart that has a brain
And eyes that witness memories!

***
Lord, I always wish health and togetherness
But today I wish for more.
I wish every person in this BIG WORLD
May LIVE in the present!
Not mourn about the past
Or worry about the future.
They just live❣️

My Ripple stitch

Can love be little?

Or should I say.....

Is it necessary for love to have a life?

Can't it be just a moment 

When I had that little butterfly!

It's like a memory when I won something special....

That I would like to cherish !

Because I know it cannot be lived everyday :)

***

You know what is the easiest...

To speak my heart!

And the most difficult....

I don't know yet.

May be I haven't faced something I can call difficult yet.

I can read you !

If there will be some day

A day when I will have no more words to write!

How will we talk ?

Will you stop.....and read my eyes:) 

You know I will love you....Always!

 

My hair are getting thinner

May turn grey too,

I won't have the perfect body 

Might smile with wrinkles soon!

Will that change the way you see me?

Will these changes matter to you?

***

"Love is blind" I have read that many times

Today I realise it does hold TRUE.

love is not seeing....it is feeling!

I do remember your sunkissed face when we were 25 and you held my hand ...

But more I remember your warmth...your touch brought!

That feeling has become indispensable now.

We are aging ! Better-half!

Wasn't that what we wanted?

We wanted to grow old together ❤️ 

To make a happy home.....

have kids...a girl and a boy :) ....and

Witness each other mature :) 

***

I hope....

In the coming years we grow more kind...

We make people around experience simplicity of being happy...

May we always be givers....and 

May we always do the best we can !

Jab jeet..haar ho

 

इतनी दुविधाओ के बीच

अंतर्मन की चिंताओ के बीच 

खुद को संभालती हूं 

खुद को समेटती हूँ

फिर भी सिमटी सी मैं 

सबको अधूरी सी लगती हूँ .

हर परीक्षा में खरी उतर के भी 

असफल ही दिखती हूं

I can be.... if i try to be !

 I always felt what I have,

Is enough....It always felt fine.

Yet today.....I want more!

I want to be, what I know I can be!

Even if I always had enough to spend,

Time, money, even efforts....

Yet today.....I want more than enough!

I want to be, what I could have been!

I do not want to give up

Pick excuses or forget today,

I want to shine not survive

I want to be really ME for the rest of this life!

I might forget, go back 

to being satisfied and silly

So I write here, to remember clear

There is nothing ! That I can't be!

 

They are not my roots

But they have kept my memories safe!

They long for my care,

Remember my talks...

And miss me when I am not around.

.

I wish you everything good Nana, Nani ❣️

Because of you, I get to experience what grandparents really are🙏🏼

35 makes me feel OLD :(

 

Now everyday when I wake up

I feel I have a brand new life!

Has the number 35,

 trained my brain to make me feel old?

Or my fears to reach this age...

Have made me cherish everyday?

I do not know

What I know is.....

I thank the young girl I once was,

For everything she did :)

All the ups and downs she rode

To reach "MY PRESENT SELF"

I remember all her gloomy days 

When she gave up dreams she watered so well,

I remember her pure efforts,

That were not rewarding....but were right and made someone's days bright

:)

And here's my word

I give you today,

That our future self too

Will be giving and kind.

Hang in there!

 I want to be your best friend...

May not accompany you everyday
But I will wish the best for you
And hope that you live happy everyday!

You know, you need not be fair or strong
Or cool or smart or try to fit in somewhere...
You are wonderful as you are
And those who love you...
Will love you anyway!

I know what you went through,
Or how serious was your loss,
People say time can help you face things...
And you can...will be better when ever you try to re-start!

Every human faces things....
Some good, some very ugly too,
May be a little wait can tell you
What God really planned for you!

If there is no one to hold your hand
to comfort, hug and say it will be fine
Then my dearest friend,

gather all your puzzled pieces...yourself!
Don't wait for someone to help or encourage,

I believe in you!

Just give your best!

Does a spiral means a Yes?

 He took my hand...

Why didn't he ask!
We crossed the road...
he then turned
Looked at me
And said "it feels nice"!

I was not so shy
But in that moment, I froze!
I remember only two things...
the sound of my heart, and
The touch of his cold fingers...

He then opened my palm...
Before I could ask
He drew a spiral,
And started to walk towards my home.
....I would have drawn a heart if I were him....what does a spiral mean? I never asked ;)
Wait,
He was walking me home!
He was happy!that's fine...
He was even singing!

And ! He still held my hand!

I had to stop him
I told him I am an adult

And I could see.. people noticing...

To which he smiled...
Said - " I know, but I want you to feel nice
For some more time!
Let me walk you home...
Like I will...for the rest of our lives!"

I couldn't say no....

I did feel nice :)

With my warm finger

I drew a spiral too.

Since then, those 5 mins 

Turned into our golden walk.

**
After a decade,

 being in the same home,
I have to remind him-
I am an adult...
Because he still drops me....
Arranges my travels,
Messages me ten thousand times...and,
Acts as my manager !

Song time

This has been my favourite since I was little. 

 

#4 How we met!

The phone beeped 

It was his text

He wrote - " I like you"

And he added - that's all I always meant!

What should I have felt?

Happy? Excited?

I just felt numb. 

I did admit then, 

he was the perfect person

Someone with whom I was me...

He was nice...really nice 

Taking care of every single thing.

I must have been in a shell

Thus, I never thought beyond....

Maybe I gave up hope and was fine with anything that would come my way...

yet this person entered without asking!

 He was right there....coming my way

Making me afraid of coming too close !

I really felt something

Maybe...

An emotion...I didn't understand

Will it hurt? Will it make me sad? Will things turn right? I had no idea.....

I don't know what made me trust him and I wanted to take a step forward !

Without hesitation...

I called....said let's meet

And the next day...

We Met !

Live in the moment

 I chased some memories today

checked on some people from the past too
I can't really think of a good reason why I did so..
Have I become too modest!
Or it doesn't cost to be nice!

I think because even if I am very patient
I can't really wait!
Wait to rectify....wait to speak my heart
And wait to regret in the future.

About me

 I don't remember since when did I start being like this....

When tired..... bored....or dead sick....
I still behave as a fighter
I don't give up.

Even when everything around is a mess...
I turn emotionless and just start over :)
I actually do that
Somedays I really wish to be angry...and mourn and behave like a kid....but that's too tiring to even think...forget about behaving like that...


I don't remember a single thing that I gave up recently....
Yes there were things I chose to not persue....things where I made a mature choice of letting go.....or may be situations where I acted too practical unlike the younger me......!

But today if someone will ask me
Do I regret anything.....when I look back!
The answer will be NOTHING
I am thankful to the simple me
For being optimist....
And for trusting God's plans.

God story of you is surely way too beautiful than your plans.

Addons to Make everyday a different day

 I wish we all live for today

As if there won't be a tomorrow.
May be that way we will cherish,
the beauty of evrything around!

So today...
I was with self!
I .........
Cooked new dishes,
Parted my hair in a different way:)
Crocheted my own designs,
Wore new trackpants and cycled longer,
Solved the crossword which everyday I forget to sit and do.
Slept like a baby..
Sipped my tea with ease...
Bought self a packet of candies
And the most important of all these....
I didn't let anything bother me
Or hold me back.

Family makes you strong...family makes you weak

I just lost an elderly

And I realise among the things
That we cannot control....
Life....surpasses love.

Memories become most important ..
love backs up the Life lost
Remembrance now...
Is like sour tears....yet sweet
How do one overcomes
This feeling of emptiness ?
Does time really heals
Or teaches one how to get used to it!
After all Life won't sympathize
Nor will time be patient.

To my busy friend!

Yes I had been busy with my life

Family and so many things,

Yet I have you my friend...

Whom I remember and wish well.

Hope you are healthy

And making the most of every minute

I hope you are humming your songs

Cooking and enjoying your momo's....

Hope everything's fine with you!

I can just hope...........untill we talk.

Untill the day....

You tell me what went wrong!

****

Hope...we will meet soon! 

Smooth deparure

 If each day A wish could be true

Today I wish...
The elderly live smooth.
I wish they stay positive...
Laugh each day.
that  will make more memories...
To remember when they wont stay...

Life is amazing
It just cannot be controlled,
Persuaded or bluffed
But it can be lived up
With tears of joy,
Sharing warmth in our hearts.

Why do I not have clear thoughts
Feel such a confused state
departing brings emptiness for sure
I don't know what's more to it
It is so difficult to think beyond..

#3 How we met

 After February, we did meet

But I remember when we met in August.
We did not share contacts...
Sister had....and that was fine.
....
Since we belonged to the same city
Sister booked tickets with him,
And we travelled home together.

I still remember...
it rained as we boarded our train
He sat on the opposite window
And this person.........
He put his head out of the emergency window, to enjoy the rain!
Can you believe it!
even though the train was stationed...
He made me worry!
I got worried for someone new! I admit.
I felt like asking him to not peep....
Just then he turned his head in
With soaked up hair and face all wet
He smiled
Did he know I was concerned?
How could he!
Why was I thinking so much!

Before retiring to bed,
I went to charge my cell phone.
The socket was near the washrooms.
As I inserted the plug and turned...
There he was...
To accompany me.
We didn't talk much
Was it the time to get familiar and be friends?

Back to our berths
we played word games,
Got to know our hobbies,
Talked about work....home...
And exchanged numbers too

#2 How we met

 What I remember back then

The ancient artifacts....colourful canvases......the pin drop silence.....

And the smell of paint....

Although painting for me is just a hobby

It is my way of rejuvenation too

Hence I felt fresh and happy here:)

.

After an afternoon well spent at the art gallery...

we three, sat on the table to eat

But he kept staring the dusky sky,

I did ignor him but then I enquired

He pointed up

Showed - the sun and the moon sharing the same sky.

I have seen such a sky before

Ofcourse I know the science behind

Yet........

this person I just met....

Seems to be different

He admired things,

the everyday stuff !

Which I once did too. 

I had always been an optimist....

I cherished music all around...

But I was indifferent now

I was overworked, avoided friends,

I kept low and had set boundaries too.

..

Here....

I got stuck in this dusky moment I felt...

Because

for the very first time....

I was all ears to someone NEW!

I wished to hear....to listen more.....

..

To justify my present nature 

I satisfied my taste buds

stuffed my mouth

headed back to my rented place

#1 How we met

I remember what I wore that day

black top,
A long skirt
mobile pouch hung around my neck
Red drop earrings...
....and my everyday black sandals.
That was not even close to beautiful!
I dressed so casual
while loose hair befriended the wind....
I wonder what caught his eyes....
Or what made him think....I was the one!
...
He says it was love at first sight
You think I should buy that?
Today after a decade, he says the same:)
I guess, he didn't really lie....

....

Flashback

I have turned so many pages....
Yet I am on the same ....for you...
I wish this was not so difficult...
Because I close my eyes to see you

Memories have survived the test of time...
And travelled with me to places...
A part of me I still miss...
That I had....shared with you:)

*****
Often remembering past events
Bring clarity to our present self!
**
Memories can fill us with joy
& bring peace to our troubled minds..

What is meant to be

 A new version of me is yet to be.

I tried to resist

I tried to hide

But love found me 

And made me smile :)

I made mistakes...

Which changed my way

Yet peace came to me

As I forgive myself :)

I like this change

Take steps to be better

Charge myself each day

To not regreat anything later.

I am AS I was

 Remember me?

Yes remember you!

***

Travelled so far

With memories of you..

You will feel a new me...

But with memories of you!

....

I cherish the younger self,

Love that carefree girl I once was...

Seems part of her still lives in me...

Looks like I have watered that seed Everyday!

...

I ain't different 

I ain't new.....

You bloom....they said...

So ......I simply grew......!

****

Neev

Jab chhote the to,

Bade bade sapne dekha karte the....

Aaj bade hue to chote chote 

Pal jeete hai :)

Papa ko dekhke lagta tha.....why does he live so simple!

But ab jaise I have understood my basics too....

Finally I work on beautifying my journey....

Not my body......or clothes......or my home

I have had friends telling me things

Colleagues commenting

Or even people who don't matter ....passing remarks....

But today it's just ME

And

I am sure my papa is very proud of me :) for who I have become......and will ever be!

Now I saw

 Everyday there's something new.....in you!

You have such a beautiful way of seeing situations....why don't you step out of your shoes for once

You have a very unique way of giving.......that none can match....but you surprise me when you treat strangers as strange!

You care unconditionally......but why just for me....!

****

I saw you 

From my eyes.....you see

So I never saw......what you had always been!

****

I see you now....As someone I always will wish you to be!

We are here to learn

 Trying hard....

Trying everyday

Yet I am still the same

And so are my days......

I wish I could learn to learn the ways

That don't bother me anymore

And forget what this life brings 

Yet I stay in this role

And forget the purpose of my soul!

I want to overcome the ME

To give up the feeling of belongingness

To not bother....rejections or acceptance

To live with my heart and mind full of 

PEACE.

I wish to live it all today

May there be no tomorrow 

Because that makes me plan and dream

And I feel the shoes I am in

I start to bother....

I put efforts....

To make things right and pleasing

Knowing it is not meant to stay after this life.

My day

Not  Today

Nor  Tomorrow 

But some day later

There will be a day

When I'll be a narrator

And tell my fairy tale :)

~~

Raaste Alag hai

Manzilen bhi.

duniya chhoti hai,

Humari doori nahi!

I look for you

There you are

Still in my thoughts

Awake in my eyes.....

Silent in my words....

I wish you were here in person too

Just here....with me today!

New year....new day

 Today was beautiful!

Not wholesome though....

For that perfect day 

I have stopped longing for...

Have not settled for less 

Besides I have started living more!

Living my ways.....

My journey

My race....

Where I am not tired!

I don't give up!

I don't expect!

And where life treats me really fair!

.

Let me say my prayers

And thank all that I had.....

For because of you

I am who I am !

Unfit for today

 You may not be the one....

you once wished to be.

but you still are the one...

someone wants to be.

***

theres this friend earning better than you...

the other one working smarter than you...

that one settled in abroad...

this one has a government job!

what about you ?

bought a house? a car? 

your spouse must be working for sure!

No ?

and you say you have kids too !

looks like the world is exploding...

every minute....every day...

what will you do..

because you are declared unfit to stay !

Absorbed

 In a different world

where you will never be...

wish I could run into space...

bacause...on Earth...somewhere you will be

so until we meet next...

lets wish you and me...

you be the best version of you,

and so will I be.

Today ends tonight;)

 With tired eyes,

I try to sleep

I think the good....

I say my prayers...

I assess my day..yet nothing works.

so I close my eyes

switch sides...

when I notice your hand

was just beside :)

to comfort 

to remind

good day bad day

today ends tonight!

To the man in YOU

 You talk your self out...

You were not very nice....

And then you say.....you were so occupied!

Let me be you someday....

Let me be honestly blunt !

I am a Woman April1,2021

something I have started writing under the theme.... 

What does it really take to be a WOMAN !!! it takes a lifetime.... 

 April 1, 2021

 I am a WOMAN.....for good you see!

 honestly....as seen from my eyes... 

in the house or outside.... 

a women is the face of any family ,

at least when people judge! 

other days it is the man who reaps... 

for the good....the woman sows.

And ! She smiles.....from behind some door...ofcourse for good ......! 

when she is so loved as a daughter, 

why does she look different when she steps outside! 

where she is expected to have some super power, 

yet made to believe -thats human!

 ...ofcourse for good...you see....! 

 it is not one who suffered... 

or a ME who felt bad.. 

it is not about you or many... 

but about the WOMAN in us!

A day without you

my smile my happiness my hope my love.... he is everything I have today! a day without him is like a day wasted *** you are not a piece of my heart....but my reality you are the morning sun.... the night star that twinkles me goodnight... as I think of going to bed...without you in my arms.... is like emptiness....its like nothing. I am so used to you my Baby you are someone I have spent the least time in my like....but you are the most important part of me and will always be! mumma loves you for being hers :)

Minds game...welcome 21

last few days seemed full of love i wished this new beginning was the same but life just turned up reality on my face i found myself surrounded by things i dont like! things like....the.... stuff i dont talk noises i dont hear negativity i dont see and silence that scares me! may be i forgot what i was where i belong how could i wish why did i believe and most of all no change is welcome here. now the mind seems so empty so does the heart theres nothing to fill in though but thats is how it is expected to be. .

My Day

I will have my peace they say, he says, she says, let them say...... I just smile at the mirror, I really dont have ears to lend eyes to see or a mouth to participate... I just have me...with all my peace! . . I hold nothing, I pass on nothing, my aura is positivity and hope, I sing when ever I can, prayer is part of my play too, I live only today, because tomorrow I can not see. .... like this moment I have time, I have space I have peace and words to share :)

Your time isnt mine

Sometimes all I need is a good talk and yet I keep busy I run from creating a social self I talk to me, I give myself all the time to understand, my problems are mine, and so can be the solutions! I aint egoist to not take help but I cant handle the wait, that state, I am the kinds to talk more and more but when it is just listening ears, I am expected to have I step back to being my own self.

Thought

Some things never end....like love
Some things never reach their end....like love

I feel like 20

 Looks like yesterday when I graduated

That teenAGE, energy and attitude!

Its been ten years ......BUT

I feel like I am no more than 20;)

I still have things to start ,

I have so much to prove....

I still have dreams that are sooooo BIG

I still fear mom and dad,

And I still like those love dates!

They give me a happy feeling

I wish I knew this before
Life is not some rocket science!
What is in the heart
Should be on the face,
What is in the eyes
Should be on the lips......

I wish I don't hurt people
Specially those who simply love me
I wish I always be with them
On a call, message or in real!

Like old buddies who never turn old
They are that happy feeling,
Their presence will not change today
But a little talk can revive memories.

***
Thats the part I play in their life too,
I can be the positive little bud and bloom,
Share the rainbows, sun and wind
Laugh, sing and walk along
Thats what FRIENDS are meant to be !
:)

Love.....in your eyes :)

He saw me once
Then twice then thrice....
Always I was dressed up nice!

Our meetings grew
So did our love!
We ate,
we laughed,
We argued,
We fought,
We live together now!

I still think what to wear everyday,
To look nice for him, for no reason though !
He has seen ......
my messed up hair,
My mouth stuffed with a sandwich too,
Looking wierd with his tshirt on,
Posing with a broom and duster so many times....
Still I like to look nice ....to his eyes:)

You love me for who I am
You always did!
Still I wish this feeling of butterflies
Fill our hearts.....everytime our eyes meet!
Everytime we fall in love,
And
Everyday I feel special like the first day

When you watched the sun and moon together in our sky

***
This one is for you- Shreyans !

Be human!

I wish there was some true love...
A love each human could feel and see...
But some are blind ....
And deaf.....and dumb...
Simple humans they cannot be!

When I look beautiful

It is just a little make up
And suddenly they like me more...
They -all of them I mean.
Why do I have to look good....for someone
For anyone for that matter!
Why can't I look what I have been made to look like..
***
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!
But my beauty lies wihin me
I have always loved the emotions
And not the outer happiness..
But still I dress up
Still I pose
To be a part of the beholders.......

The baby lizard

It is true! Death has a scary face.
I witnessed one today....
I never thought I could...
just stand and see ones painful face.
But I just did....and I feel weak.
I fear what growing old holds in future...
I can forget for a while...
but I can never overcome...
the loss of anyones life !

I was speechless...I was mum...
in a flash, I saw my entire world shrink into the silence....that a departing soul leaves behind.
my relationships.....my karma....MY?
there's nothing that's mine! not even this body I have.
everything I have is outside.....this mind....this soul...what do I live for...What do I need really! I just don't know if there is a need to even stop and think.

What I know is....
it is hard....very very hard to witness a death...
to try to pretend strong...
I can digest thats what is born had to die...
but how does one forget what that life leaves behind...

A Little Something

Is it monotony ?
You know! I live each day.
Then some nostalgia?
No, no, I enjoy the experienced me.
You are a new mother, it must be all the days work for sure?
Ofcourse not, It is just me!

A little something is inside,
not very simple to describe
yet a feeling that holds me back.....
from doing all that I ever did.
It is not more love that I am looking for,
Deviating from everyday won't make it better,
Shortly, everything that surrounds me has become unimportant!

I always felt - respect is the only response to those who circle us.
But I failed to remember that we are HUMAN,
with work prejudice, birth assumptions, societal barriers !
who will hurt others intentionally,
it is these notions that surpass respect and love sometimes!

Overcoming

I know a change is for good
I want this good to last
Still I wish I was the old me,
I wish I never took some steps.
Some steps that make me happy
That make me who I am today & what I have!
It took me long to overcome my fears!!
Yet the heart wants to make me feel guilty
The brain wants to show me the road I could have been on.....
I am not convincing.....me.....
Rather I want to wash it off,
All that this brain can think,
All that this heart wants to resist
All that is not just good to give a thought too.

I love everything that surrounds me
I am true to my little soul,
I have my reasons to walk this path,
With its beautiful past roots too.

*****
Past is a place to learn from, present is a place to be! - a quote I read in my last book

The 5 AC

This is surely my first article I am writing about something important I read in a book I recently read - 
The 5 AM club - by Robin Sharma.


It is the habit of rising early. Something that honestly I don't follow as of now!
though I have heard this since my childhood days that rising early multiplies ones energy, helps one to plan the day and most importantly it is a good habit to have a routine. It is the hour of least distraction, highest human glory and greatest peace.
I was convinced with this even as a child but somewhere I was casual with my approach or not firm on following a routine.

Personally, I found the 20/20/20 model in the book very helpful. It states that when you get up at 5:00, you plan your next one hour in three slots i.e. first 20 minutes of relentless exercise, next 20 minutes of self meditation, and last 20 minutes in self motivation via audio books/reading or should be spent in planning. When I read it I found it something very simple, but as I started working on it, it made me feel the magic of the 20/20/20 rule. We all do exercise, meditation or planning but it is not a conscious routine with which our - Mindset, Healthset, Soulset or Heartset is tuned to. These are the four areas which affect us when we plan. We basically revolve around these. It is so important to feed them everyday to make sure our motivational and satisfaction giving harmones are generated well, which inturn make us happy and keep us charged.

Robin Sharma highlighted the use of technology, rather one should say the dependence on the excessive use of gadgets, like checking the messages, updates etc. It is like keeping oneself busy with things that are not helping us improve our productivity. The geniuses spent their hours in practice! and yet one can argue that a little shopping on some application makes me happy, boosts my mood, it is NOT so. It might satisfy you by keeping you busy but it is not adding to your four core areas that are health, mind, soul and heart. Famous personalities spend their time in polishing their talents which were ofcourse not inherent or god gifted. Even if someone was, still he had to work on it to make it suitable for the environment which is so dynamic. Furthermore, the book states a time when you rise and when you sleep to be technology free to boost your Melotonin - thats the harmone triggered to tell you - You are sleepy now!

One thing that I will carry with me is the HGH - Human Growth Harmone! we must have seen - it is not the mind that ages, it is the body ! To fool the body or keep it in shape, we workout everyday! So basically when we physically push our body 25% of the HGH is produced! and the rest is produced when we sleep ! Yes ! When we sleep and our brain is filling with the ten thousand thoughts and is at rest, it releases 75% of the HGH that we really need. The book states sleeping less or more - both harm the aging harmone and we in a way invite death because of this habit of ours. To make sure we have the right hours of sleep, atleast 7 and a half hours of sleep should be given to the body, not more not less.

Last but not the least - the book states wonderful sayings of well known personalities from different fields. Their saying out of their experience that is something money can't buy.

### My purpose of writing here is I believe making notes for self more than anything else.

The sleep fight

Its late
Quite late
For a new mommy to be awake!
Specially if she's tired
If she has a restless day...
When her physical self has given up
But the mind looks like ....is still awake!
The heart still wants to feel more....good


***
It is so difficult to convince my mind
To make it go to sleep.......to make it believe ...today is over.....we have tomorrow to work again....
I don't belive in tomorrows now! Because they never come. What comes and stays is Today!

A LIFE I chose TODAY !

life is still a race

like it was a decade ago!

Honestly, 

every day was not happy or great for this timid one

but I have lived each day,

with dreams

some fears

a little hope

lot of efforts!

I am BETTER

I am climbing

I am achieving

I am happy...I can say that without a second thought

.....but it is still a race

to be happier...to be better......

to be beautiful....to be richer.....

But that was never my goal

because somewhere deep inside me

I have always been satisfied

with what ever came my way !

I never longed for more than what is enough.

So now on

I will not run to be better

I will stand by and watch the race...

I will enjoy my tea and my bun,

from a distant shade :)

I chose to be carefree from today :)

***I already feel happy writing this 

sometimes we write to feel good,

and sometime writing helps us decide

what the mind is upto....!

This Run

Lost in my small world

sinking in the house chores

with half shut eyes

I head towards the kitchen
and try to be the woman with superpowers!

Sometimes when my day ends
and I give it a thought of how days pass by...
I find myself pacing up....
not in an air conditioned office,
but yeah in the shoes I am in.

Honestly, we all are the same
you have your reasons to speed up,
and I have mine!

What satisfies me more is that
there's nothing much we can do
about all the things that we create...
about all the efforts that we took...
in a relationship
in a task, a project, a meeting
but yes they do matter for now,
they do create something better for my bodily world.

Lost love

Morning was dead silent
I managed to look above my blanket
Hoping to see you sleeping near...
When you are no more....here!
You are no where
And you will never be
We all are left behind
With memories in our hearts so clear
When you are no more here!
We love you
We miss you
We have memories.....
From the very first day when we saw u...
And you shivered even on our lap
You were incredible
I wish I could hug you and tell you
But...you are no more here

We complicate ourself

Nothing was complicated

Nor were the people!

It was "I" who thought so!

They always thought of love

It was "I" who thought they have a brain!

They never saw the price tags

Gifts were acts of pleasing!

But "I" had its doubts 

And always landed up in regrets...

***

Love is never right or wrong

It is the society who judges 

People around you will always have something to say

And "I" is also a part of this world!

So its human to doubt .....to fail

But "I" ....

....is still in doubt

And still have regrets

And is happy to live in such a state...

Everythg that you see in the mirror......is everythg that you ever tried to be!!

Things change and so do people!

They forget they once were a baby

and that they've learnt this big word called universe

it was not natural....never

they even needed a hand to stand.....to hold

they were taught the language.....thats how they interact now!

thats how they show.............emotions!

what we are today is everything we ...

learnt....

practised...

felt right to do !

When I look back from where I am

I feel things were too simple to do!

may it be that first stage performance

the board exams....

that office presentation....

getting married....

becoming a mother......etc etc ...

nothing was ever so BIG as I thought it...

what made those things fearsome...difficult

.was......

that it was my first time...!

Situations change

but the change they bring in us...

is for our betterment....

What I learnt is .................

I can strive for my betterself...

I can go that extra mile.....and enjoy the view

I can just be in the moment....and be a part of it

and no one can stop me....from  being me!

Silence Speaks

Silence speaks volumes
specially when I am with me!!

silence is soothing...it gives peace :)
when we work..and .....we love
near a silent beach
and wuh the soothing breeze...wow!

 it is disturbing......
when we avoid situations....obstruct thoughts
like an argument among friends....
a heated board meeting...

silence is power !
when we face......we stand firm.
we know whats right
and yes we do fight !

it might be an emotion ,
felt deep within...
a soul departing.....leaving sorrow and grief
or a new born....sleeping quietly!

it may take alot of time,
and may result in many forms,
but I personally feel
it is the time
when you interact with self....
assess...and guide......
that small seedling thought
it is like a baby within...
give it the best.....nourish it
and share it .....
because silence can speak volumes!

SHE - is so special to be :)

she is soft......she is kind

She is beautiful.....she has a mind

She is everything that a man needs

She can be anything a family needs!

She has dreams

She has power

She has patience

She has a heart

There's nothing that can bound her

But alot of love... she can hold!

A girl should i call her

Or a grown up woman

Dads princess i can call her

Or some kiddos super mom!

She is nothing less than anyone

Nothing more than herself.

Its a pleasant peaceful day

That i think about her

And gives me immense pleasure

To be like her!

She is in those strange smiles

That are shared when i cross the road.

She is those stories

That i watch in theatres

She is  everywhere around

Yet in a different city!

She is near......yet distant by time

She is here...with me....in me

She is everythg i am today

:)

Life... A lie

I never wished for the stars

Nor the moon or the farthest pluto

It was you who i wished for

Yesterday....today....and in the time to come. 

I do not run after things

What I have  is worth thanks giving! 

I too have responsibilities 

But I just happened to know what life is. 

Life is a journey where you explore

Who you really are! 

The day you realize 

Is your  day of salvation! 

Things wont hurt then, 

Nor people will. 

You will be so much more

So much more than you can think

Its summer!

Yes it is summer
And yes it is hot
I look at my rooms curtain
It has leaves printed on it
And the sun is still peeping through it.
It adds life to my curtain.... To my room
Even at this time
When it is about to set!
It gives me a happy feeling:)

Some everyday simple things
Give  you such a satisfying thought!
It is you who looks at the brighter side
It is you to decide whether to smile
And it is you who makes your everythg worthwhile!

I am learning

Life is never about someone
Nor, is it a story of you!

It is a walk
Where I can get tired and stop!
 I can fall and get hurt
Where I admire all that nature has
 I meet people....
Some join me... Some leave
I get stuck at some place
But the walk...  the walk doesnt end
And I continue....
To feel happier... To experience more
To live more.... To laugh more...
And finally to reach the end
Thats death...

We can bring a change

"This is nuisance on the roads!"
I shout so easily looking at the jam!
I get down and walk
I take a few steps more..
And there is litter on the turns!
"What the hell is this now!"
I shout again as if I own the roads...the streets..
As if I clean them everyday!
Its easy to.be angry...
Easy to blame
Easy to yell at someone
But it takes alot to bring a change!
To believe in the good
To trust others
Still, I think it is someone's job!
And yes it is!
It is the job of the people....!
Because we dont own the roads... they belong to us!
WE THE PEOPLE - is one of the most powerful word

Life's treasure is people not things 😊😊😊😊

My Blue

Once there lived a little mountain sparrow

which grew into a handsome blue bird.
Birds named him "BLUE"
because his wings looked like a piece of sky !
nobody knew his family,
all they knew was - He was so different!

BLUE

Blue always flew in a flock,
untill the day...................
he wished to explore the BIG SKY !
In the cold breeze......
he went higher and higher

to witness a little sunshine

filtering through the clouds...

the baby leaves....opening their eyes...

multiple flowers.....blooming together
just then a snow flake ran down his blue wing.....
the next moment it was lost !
as if something that never was !
he felt divine !

Now that became a routine for Blue.
He rested on a cloud,
sang songs that felt divine ;)
greeted even the passersby...

One day, his favorite cloud turned grey
there was no place to rest or stay.
he realized it was water dropping time
it was not safe to stay....
what made it difficult was
the thunder that played games.
Blue could hardly manage to come down
when it got struck by one!
He now lay on the mud,
The piece of sky.......BLUE is wounded .....on the ground....!

There was still something in him alive,
The blue wings that still had life..!
so they flapped ....and flapped
and lifted him up....
higher and higher,they took him up !
when came out all the birds
on hearing the loud flapping sound.....
they saw something that they could not believe!
there was no bird.......no BLUE in sight
only blue feathers above and down....
Every feather had an address so unique
where Blue had .....built nests...... for each !
Like the snowflake ........a piece of the sky
felt heavenly......but was lost in a while!
so was BLUE .........a piece of the sky !

The Happiness Rule !

"
Give the best you can......only if you want to give without getting
because no one has promised to return your BEST....!
"


"
There may be ten thousand reasons to feel weak and give up
but just one reason to feel better......a FAMILY !
"

One more step :)

Oh what a joy is each passing day !
for a day you cannot wait to live !

people say the journey is beautiful,
more beautiful than the thing itself.

It is very hard to say
sometimes the road is tough,
it can break you down...
so badly...that you give up......
the dream of that special DAY !

OR should you wait and check out
if the shoes you are in...
is what makes the road difficult to stay,
so take a break....
brush your fingers in the air
breathe out what is breaking you down!
believe in the reason
that made you stay .......till date !

****
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. 
They quit on the one yard line.

I found this in my drafts. Its quite an old piece. 

I crave for you

Flowers....of every colour...
Yes ! a special day it was.
yet I craved for your voice.
I know presence is not everything
I believe love does not need words...or a form
Still I need one........

I know you are there....more than always
yet I wish to see you.
I know you are safe...
.......................satisfied
.......................learning
.......................exploring
.......................understanding
.......................overcoming
yet I wish to hear from you.
I know you will take care,
yet I want to care for you.
I want to be what I am to you !

I never write things that make me feel low......
but this moment I have you in my eyes....
this time.......
I crave for you !


***Tushita visit